Love is...

One question to measure a day by... from the ever thought-provoking Ann V.

"Did the life I lived today please you, God?"

How many things do we check off on our to-do list before we can yes to a question like that?

Only one.

Have I loved well?...

St. John of the Cross once said that, "at the evening of our day we shall be judged by our loving." As we look back on the day, what we have done is not as important as how we have done it. Better to do little with much love than much with little love.

For without love, whatever we do will be dismissed with a judicial wave of heaven's hand as just so many trivial pursuits (1 Cor. 13:1-3)

So it's the end of the day, and each of us is lying in our bed, reflecting. Have I loved well? ....

If we can answer yes to that question, it is enough.

It may not be enough for our employer..our fellow workers...for all the carpools, committees and other things on our calendar.

It may not be enough for us.

But it is enough for God.

And that should make it enough for us." ~Ken Gire

As if this isn't enough to ponder for one day, I came across more thoughts on living this most rewarding and sacrificial way of life, desiring a daily reflection of Christ's love for our little ones... although the following excerpt is a little lengthy but I believe it's very insightful and convicting. Also, has anyone else heard of this author before? This was my first time to come across his work...

CHILD TRAINING TIPS What I wish I knew when my children were young
by Reb Bradley

If we are weighed down just trying to survive our children, or if we daily struggle just to tolerate them, we are falling short of God’s calling for us. We will always be miserable and our children will not easily be trained. God does not want us just to endure our kids or merely put up with them – He wants us to aggressively love them! There is a vast difference. When we properly love our children God is glorified and our families reap great blessings. Remember, as Jesus told his followers – when we obey his commandment to love, our joy will be full.


THE TROUBLING THING

Many parents grasp the importance of raising obedient, respectful children, but fail to understand the significance of raising them to be lovers of God and others. They assume that a self-governing child, raised in the Christian faith, will automatically grow to spiritual maturity as they grow in physical and mental maturity. However, such parents often discover that when their children reach adulthood, they may not continue in the morality or faith which their parents sought to give them. Even more frightening, some parents are content with the results of their parenting, but shouldn’t be. They are satisfied that their children have grown up and remain active in the church, but these grownup children lack the most important Christian virtue – love.

As followers of Christ we must raise children who not only have the virtue of self-control, but who are lovers of God and true lovers of their families, neighbors, and enemies.

Sadly, many parents do not value love as the highest virtue in their own personal lives, and therefore content themselves with simply raising their children to be obedient. They justify such an approach, insisting Christ taught that those who learn to obey are learning to love. Obedience certainly can be a trait of love, but to subdue our children’s wills and then neglect to teach them to love is like building the foundation for a house, and then stopping construction. The foundation is absolutely necessary, but the goal is the house. So too, obedience and respect which spring from a subdued self-will represent important elements of the foundation, but they are just that – foundational elements for the building of love.

So, if we raise children who have the ability to speak in the tongues of angels, have the faith to move mountains, perform deeds of self-sacrificing benevolence, and can obey in a flash with total respect, but lack love, we have accomplished nothing. Zip. Zero. Nada. Yes, obedient, self-governing children are beautiful and necessary, but if they do not love they lack the quality most dear to the heart of our God.


WHAT ARE SOME PRACTICAL TIPS FOR RAISING LOVING CHILDREN?

From the time they are born, we must elevate love as their life purpose.

1. Emphasize to them throughout their day that loving and serving others is our supreme goal. Evaluate all their social and moral decisions from the standpoint of love.

2. Make frequent opportunities for the family to serve others, ie: looking after widows or single moms, visiting convalescent hospitals, volunteering at the local Crisis Pregnancy Center, etc.

3. Encourage the children to surprise their siblings by secretly serving them, ie: doing their chores for them, making their beds, etc. (what a great idea! and can't I model this by doing special things just for their daddy?!)

4. Make the absence of love the issue of every childish dispute. When children are in conflict do not just rebuke them for fighting, but admonish them for not loving. Don’t ask them “Who started it?” Ask them each how have they failed to love the other.

5. Frequently fill their hearts with your loving affection. Since a fresh dose of God’s love fills the heart of a new believer with love for others, consider that bickering children may respond powerfully to a moment of strong fatherly affection, ie: a group hug which does not end until the little ones are laughing and affectionate.

6. Pray with them about it, but don’t wait until they are mad at their siblings. Every time you pray, including bedtime and meals, ask God to show them creative ways to love others.

7. Read story books or make up bedtime stories about children who are kind and compassionate servants.

8. Give them greater affirmation when you see them love and serve than when they hit a homerun. When they love and serve, allow them to hear you brag to others about it.

9. Do not permit ANY unkind words in your family, ie: no derogatory names, no making fun, no teasing, or belittling of any kind.

10. Model service and kind speech in your marriage. Many have said that the best way for children to learn to love is to be around two parents loving each other.

Well, this top ten list will be something I am going to start focusing on with Bella & Landry. What great practical ideas to help train children to live in a loving way. However, I think the most important will be #10. No matter how much I teach, encourage, and expect them to think and act in a loving manner, it will not impact them near as much as my own life's example portrayed before them daily. Merciful God, show me the way and help me to obey You before I expect obedient children.